Breakeven.

"They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cause he's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't break even"

- The Script

I've hard a lot of good days lately. In fact today was shaping up to be an awesome day... then sometimes it just hits me. I get so angry and bitter. Angry that he just stopped talking to me one day... broke my heart with no explanation and bitter knowing that it doesn't matter to him... that I was left with having to put the pieces back together. I should have seen it coming, but I've never had anybody break my heart before. Next time I won't be so naive.

I suspect the reason for why it still gets to me is because deep down inside somewhere I'm not letting go. It's like I'm staring into Pandora's box where hope is sitting patiently... but I need to let hope go. It's been months, if he didn't already have a new girl he probably does now and I'm kidding myself thinking he'll ever talk to me again, much less give me any kind of closure or anything at all.

So on that note, I'm letting this hope I've been desperately holding on to go free... and I pray freeing myself in the process.